15 days till my parents finally come visit
23 days till we drive to Oklahoma for my first baby shower
61 days till we go to Nashville for Thanksgiving
90 days till Christmas
123 days till Baby Girl (supposedly) makes an appearance
Sometimes it's hard not to cross days off the calendar with my pretty pink highlighter. Check, check, check. Done, done, done. After all, I love making lists. I love crossing them off even more.
But do you ever feel like you're living your life in slow motion? No matter what you do, you can't seem to speed things up a little? It's not that you want your days to zip on past you, but you're just a little bit tired of them always being so mind-numbingly sluggish.
Do you ever feel like your life won't slow down? You can't seem to ever find a moment to simply step back and breathe. It's all one big, scary blur and you're starting to feel a little lost in the whirlwind.
I'm caught in between.
I realize that may sound like an oxymoron. How can your life be racing past you, yet simultaneously creeping along like the tiny old grandma who somehow always ends up in front of you on the highway? I catch myself having nostalgic moments at the most random times. Flashbacks to college, to dating, to our wedding. I think of how different life was then and how different life is about to be.
On the other hand, I find myself consistently praying that I can make it through another week. I keep staring at the clock. The stupid tick tock toys with me as time slinks on by. I can't help but wish it was tomorrow, or next week, or Christmas, or time for Baby Girl to arrive. And so on and so on. Neither one of these mentalities--longing for life to remain the same or wishing it would hurry up and happen already--are beneficial. Neither are satisfying.
These perspectives make us miss things, BIG things. Our most satisfying moments are in the daily makeup of our lives. The little joys. The small things. Do you really want to miss it because your attention was elsewhere?
Well, I sure don't. I want to find pleasure in my present, a true contentment in my day to day. I don't want to be constantly looking forward to the next "best" thing, nor do I wish to be fixated with my rear-view mirror, only remembering everything how it once was. I want to be resting in the peace Christ has already provided.